HyperQuake

Having trouble thinking of something to do for your loved one on Valentine’s Day? Or are you still trying to get out of the doghouse from last year? Lucky for you, we’re here to bail you out! Here’s a top-five list of suggestions. By the way, you’re welcome.

1. WINE – and lots of it. Whether it’s going wine tasting, dining in or dining out, wine seems to be a sure win. Preggos don’t worry, plenty more suggestions below.

2. QUALITY TIME with the loved one. A cheap but effective option, this gift should come straight from the heart. Try dinner or a movie at home. Gentlemen, chick flicks are a total bonus.

3. STICK TO THE CLASSICS. We’re talking flowers, chocolate, jewelry (duh). But be sure to put your own spin on it – roses are nice but can be overplayed. And ladies, don’t leave the fellas out of the gift exchange – look for a nice watch (peep our friendly-yet-stylin’ HQ males’ wrists for ideas).

4. HANDMADE CARDS. Flash back to second grade, bust out the construction paper and fill that cut-out heart with tons o’ glitter. The perfect way to show that you care (and have an eye for design).

5. THE SPA TREATMENT. A couple’s massage, gift certificate or an at-home-you-know-what-I’m-talking-about. Nuff said.

None of these striking your fancy? Well, whatever you do, steer clear of fighting, forgetting the day all together, or skipping the reservation. The point of the day is to make your loved one smile, as long as you do that, consider yourself “the best husband/wife/fiance/boyfriend/girlfriend ever”.

Imagine yourself naked and cold, with only a tiny bicycle to help you navigate a post-apocalyptic world, and you have the excellently stylish Flash game Icycle.

“The next ice age has arrived and the world as we know it has peacefully frozen in time, but to one naked survivor it’s cold and lonely as hell!

If only dying was this much fun in life!”

YES, it is that time again, folks. Time for the annual HyperQuake Chili Cookoff, an epic interoffice competition with high gastronomical and personal-pride stakes. The fridge is filled, the Crock Pots are plugged in, one developer has somehow ALREADY needed a Tide Pen. For non-Cincinnatian readers, what you need to know is: this area of the Midwest is obsessed with chili. When asking a native what there is to do in this town, invariably they will say, “You HAVE to go to Skyline/Gold Star/Camp Washington Chili” etc. Try it.

Being a non-native vegetarian, I can be pretty ho-hum about chili, but last year featured several no- or faux-meat items that basically blew my face off with delicious, not to mention unusual items like the chili cake pictured above. (SPOILER: This year someone made chili ice cream…what!)

Prizes will be awarded in the form of trophies denoting “Overall Best Taste,” “Best Not-So-Chili” and “Weirdest Freakin’ Thing.” Mmmmm…weird.

More custom lettering than you can shake a stick at, brought to you by Lettercult.
View them all: Custom Letters of 2009

I think a ‘groupon’ sounds likes like some sort of parasite that locks onto unsuspecting groups and steals their souls… which might be accurate as it turns out.

“Each day, Groupon emails you one exclusive, unbeatable deal on the best things to do, see, eat, and buy in Cincinnati.” At least that is what their site says.

I have been waiting to see Groupons in action for a while now and this week they came through for me, publishing their first offers for Cincinnati. Today’s offer was for a yoga studio. I like yoga. I like 50% off. I am not sure I like the location of the offer, but I am certainly going to stay tuned. Any day now they could offer a Groupon for someplace I love or have been meaning to try, and this will be the thing that converts me from a window shopper to a buyer. It’s kind of exciting. In a really nerdy way.

Case-Real, a Japanese design firm, just introduced a new way to think about “dual purpose”. The obvious answer has always been to add storage. A bed that doubles as a dresser, a dresser that doubles as a bookshelf, the list just goes on and on.

But where does your cat go you ask? Why, under this table of course!

Thanks for the tip Apartment Therapy.

About all I can say here is, NICE!!! Someone has finally created a functional jet pack (check out the video gallery.) Not just any jet pack, a $100,000 jet pack that you don’t even need a license for. Let’s review the specs, shall we, to fully understand why this is so awesome:

Engine: 2.0L producing 200HP (You are wearing this!!!!)
Travel: 31.5 miles or up to 8,000 ft!!!
Safety features: Built in parachute (completely unnecessary, why would you ever want to come down?)
Gadgets and Gizmos: Blue Tooth Helmet

The only thing this is missing is a built in video monitor in the helmet so you can watch Disney’s “The Rocketeer” while you are flying.

Did I mention you don’t need a license for this?

Anyone interested in going in on a timeshare set up with me on one of these things, feel free to drop me a line.

So, Burger King has decided that many Americans, specifically those in the South Beach region, want to crack open a tall, cold one when they sit down to eat their Whoppers. Hey, who can blame them?

As such, they’ve confirmed they’ll be opening a ‘Whopper Bar’ where you can get your drink on Budweiser and Bud Light style. Looks like they may open a few elsewhere around the county, in fitting cities like Vegas and NYC, but I’m struggling to figure out why South Beach to get started.

Regardless, looks like you might be able to get some new toppings on your Whopper too, but no word as to whether or not they’ll use some of those brewskis to make you beer-battered onion rings or beer battered-french fries.

So what does this all mean for the Burger King of the future and where they go next? I could foresee The King running a high end, exclusive, bottle service only night club featuring his own premium blend vodka, champagne and of course, Whoppers.

We saw this map of America’s Vices in the most recent Wired magazine. Love it, but not lustfully (Cincinnati)!

“A team at Kansas State just served up a feast: maps of sin created by plotting per-capita stats on things like theft (envy) and STDs (lust).”

Yelp is a collection of consumer-generated reviews of businesses in their area. Originally a San Francisco-centric venture, the site has become popular in 33 cities with tens of thousands of reviews. The Inc. Magazine article, You’ve Been Yelped, has a great history of the company, as well as business owners’ reactions to it. (Read it!)

Obviously, consumers place a high value on peer reviews, and despite the fact that the majority of Yelp reviews are “overwhelmingly positive”, some business owners are starting to fear the effect those rarer negative reviews could have on their business, occasionally going so far as to blame Yelp for their company’s failings (as embarrassingly described on the first page of that Inc. mag article). Others take the approach that Domino’s has, by embracing negative reviews and trying to improve their offerings.

#1 ranked for Cincinnati shopping is my neighborhood’s own Shake-It Records.
“One of the holy grails of Ohio record stores. Selection is outstanding — I mean, how often do you see Redd Kross or Camper Van Beethoven albums anymore? Kids these days with the iTunes and MP3 whatnots, I tell ya. Get out of the house, dammit.”

Gosh, I love crotchety reviews.

Seeing Shake-It at the top of that list immediately made me smile. The community aspect that comes along with Yelp is not to be ignored. I scanned the reviews and saw many familiar names and faces, and was pleased to see other neighborhood businesses topping their respective lists locally, too, sporting such informative reviews as, “All the cutest girls in town work here. Hi ladies.”

Despite the potential damage Yelp could pave the way for in the case of less-than-stellar businesses, it also commends and celebrates those that are doing a good job, creating a digital circle of cheerleaders around those places. It’s got to be tough as a business owner to know that the Internet takes away a huge chunk of control (businesses do not get to opt-out of Yelp), but the Web is a cut-throat equalizer, lauding the good and reprimanding the bad. As one Yelp-reviewed business owner said, “you can’t hate the future.”