I’m just going to go on record and say that I don’t understand Sketcher’s Shape-Ups. Apparently, nor does anyone else because according to a story on USAToday.com disputes about whether they work or not, are safe or not, are cool looking or not, etc., have yielded no definitive answers either way.

It doesn’t matter where I side on this really because I don’t know enough about these to make an accurate assessment, but I will say that Joe Montana is part of their marketing and Joe knows sneakers.

The globally respected news organization, The Onion, believes otherwise I guess.